


What Happened Last Night?

by orphan_account



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Drunk Sex, Drunk Steve, Drunk Steve Rogers, Drunk Thor, Embarrassed Steve, Embarrassment, Fear of Discovery, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Thor is Embarassing, but what's new amirite, lmao spoiler alert sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 15:09:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1715015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor brings down Asgardian liquor. Steve sees if it can get him drunk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EvieKats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvieKats/gifts).



> Thor is frickin' hard to write dialogue for ughhhh  
> I made up brennevin av gudene, obviously (the name translates to "liquor of the gods" in norwegian *wins points for creativity*), but I like to picture it like absynthe except with another alcohol than ethanol that's more potent, and on the higher end of the alcohol percentage range for absynthe, like 75%+. Basically it's hella strong. It even takes asgardians quite a bit to get them drunk, but they get there eventually.
> 
> [EDIT: "brennevin av gudene" changed to "gudenes brennevin" as I am told it makes more sense grammatically :) thanks for the help!]

"How strong did you say this was?" Steve rests his chin on his hand and takes another shot.  
"It's entierly too strong for mere humans!" Thor counters, smiling, pouring himself a shot.  
"Uh, yeah. My weak and fragile human body." Shot. "I don't even feel anything. You promised I would be able to get drunk off this fancy asguardian liquor!" Shot. "How many is this? Twenty...eight shots now?" Steve mumbles to the long line of overturned shot glasses littering the counter.  
"Captain Rogers, this is _gudenes brennevin_ , an Asguardian alcohol that could send any average Midguardian man to the floor with but one shot!" The demi-god laughed heartily. "If this cannot get you heartily intoxicated, nothing can!" He downs a few shots.  
"It better hit me quickly or I'm going to go back to the gym."  
"Trust me, Captain, it should not be too long now."  
"Here's to substandard earth liquor!" Steve handed his drinking buddy a shot, clinked glasses, and downed them.

\-----

"How long.... *hic* how long have we been drinking now? What time is it?" Steve slurred, head rested on the bar, nearly empty bottle in hand.  
"It's quarter past three in the morning, Captain." JARVIS announced over a speaker built into the bar countertop. The two men's eyes bolted open, startled by the metallic voice that came from seemingly thin air.  
"WHO IS THERE? WHO DARE DISTURB US?" Thor bellowed at the ceiling, grabbing Mjolnir.

\-----

"I am defen... def... defen-ite-tet-ly dunk now. I haven't been so drunk in a.. *hic* really, really, really, really long time!" Steve giggled, red faced, emptying a third bottle with his drinking buddy, who was just as drunk. "Sooooooooooooo long."  
"Boooooooottoms up, Captain Rogers! The nocturne is a young lad! *hic* Or however that saying I heard goes!" Thor boomed, filling two pint glasses and sliding one in Steve's direction.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steve remembers why he never really drank much in the first place.

"Ugggggg" Steve moaned. His head was pounding like a jackhammer. Taking care not to move too quickly, he took note of his surroundings.  
King-sized bed, disheveled. _Okay?_  
 _Uhhhh..._ 7 empty bottles of some kind of foreign-looking liquor on the floor labelled 'Gudenes Brennevin'. _Uh-huh._  
Articles of clothing thrown about the room. _Ah._  
Mjolnir. On the bedside table. _Okay...._  
He lifts and turns his head slowly to his left.  
Thor.  
 _Half-dressed?_ He peeks under the sheets hopefully.  
 _NOPE. NAKED. OKAAAAY._  
 _Let's just pretend this isn't happening right now and that we're not freaking out and that Thor, the demi-god, is not, in fact, naked beside you in bed with a hangover._  
 _Wait, hangover? How did he get drunk? Didn't Mr. Stark the Elder tell him he couldn't get drunk because of the serum? What happened last night??_  
At that moment, the sleeping demi-god reached his arms forward, pulled himself closer to Steve's warm body, and nestled his face in the thick, strong slab of Steve's back muscle.  
Steve felt his eyes grow wider and wider until it didn't seem physically possible for them to grow any wider.  
What... is.. that...? Please, don't be what I think that is. Oh, dear lord. Is that his... uggg... _*thing*?_ Steve squirmed and tensed up, waking Thor up.  
"Captain Rogers, you have awakened?"  
"Uhhhhh, yeah." Quickly realizing the implication of his response, his eyes bolt open once again. "AH, NOT IN *THAT* WAY. UHHHHH." He trailed off, feeling his face turning bright red as he racked his brain for words. Steve wasn't gay. Not. Gay. He was pretty sure Thor wasn't, either. Just a little...er... shameless. He sighed, got out of bed, and looked in the mirror. His usually neatly combed hair was messy and was sticking straight up in a few places. It was a nice change from his usual good-boy look. Just a ...  
 _Wait, I'm getting off subject. I was naked in a bed with Thor???? What the fuck????_  
At that exact moment, like vicious clockwork, Clint strolled casually by the open door walking from his room to the kitchen, whistling a jaunty tune. After a second, the whistling stopped, his peripherals checked in, he walked in reverse just as nonchalantly and turned his head in their direction, witnessing Steve, in nothing but his underwear and sex hair, standing next to a very naked and hickey-ed Thor, lying in in a slovenly bed littered with articles of old-styled clothing and armour. His smile shrunk into itself as be actively tried to repress how entertained he was; he allowed but a small chuckle pass his lips. He continued along his path, leaving Steve to drop to his bruised knees and beg to god in heaven that Clint wouldn't do the oh-so-Clint thing to do by telling the rest of the group what he just saw.  
 _Oh, lord, who am I kidding? Everyone's going to know in less than a few..._  
Steve turned his head again to see... yep, Tony and Natasha peeping their heads around the door frame and a very faint "what is it?" shouted from Bruce from the kitchen followed by unabiding laughter from Clint.  
"Before you say anything--" Steve started, before being cut off by Tony.  
"Must have, heh heh, really been busy 'fighting crime' last night, eh, Cap?" He insinuated, inserting helpful air quotes and a wink at the end to really get his message across.  
"I-!"  
"Really... getting the job done, Rogers?" Snickered Natasha, glancing toward the again asleep Thor on the bed, and to the small tent of sheet just around his crotch. "Better get back to work, Captain America," she winked."your country needs you!"


End file.
